First Impressions

I'd be a rubbish Darth Vadar!

I have had fun this half term setting up this blog. I didn't realise how much I had to say and I have gone a bit mad this week. So here's the last of the holiday outpouring!

I had a conversation with a colleague a few weeks ago which set me thinking about first impressions and how much they matter. As an NQT, I can clearly remember being told - quite seriously - by several veteran teachers "Don't smile until Easter". The idea was to instil an appropriate sense of fear and trepidation in the little darlings and to promote the idea that I was a force to be reckoned with. If they heard Darth Vader's theme in their heads as I approached them on in the corridor, then I had achieved my goal.

I tried hard to do as I was advised, I really did. I lasted about five minutes into my first lesson. In my first year of teaching, I was described by a child as "the smiley, curley one" and another described me as "the one who really likes children." I want those two descriptions on my gravestone please - I am delighted that learners know that I genuinely like them, am interested in them and care about them.

If adults make a decision about whether they like someone or not in the first 30 seconds, then I reckon children do it in the first 10, and vulnerable children do it even quicker. Vulnerable children are hyper alert and hyper vigilant. They are highly attuned to threat of any kind - and a teacher who is nervous, unsure, tense or rigid will set off their sensors immediately.

I recently sat in on a student panel interviewing candidates for a teaching post. The students all have mental health issues and so are in alternative education. I won't go into too many details, but suffice it to say that getting into a child's personal space uninvited, having "flappy hands", nervous fidgeting and not smiling with your eyes are not the way to get appointed! These kids were sharp. They picked up on some tiny things that I missed completely until they were pointed out to me.

In a PRU, smiling is very much the way forward. Our learners need to know first and foremost that you really want to be there, that you see them as an individual, and that you have time for them. An open, warm approach works wonders in so many ways. These are children who are suspicious of authority, have low self esteem and can present with challenging behaviours: the last thing they need is another teacher perfecting a death-stare.

I know that some teachers think that being smiley and warm is akin to being weak and that they will somehow be less effective at discipline. I have never found this to be true. Learners will arrive in my classroom with all their frustrations and anger and find that I am genuinely concerned for them. If they need to take five minutes to compose themselves, then they can have it. If they need to get something out of their system, then OK. They will be met with kindness. It's very hard to sustain aggression with someone who clearly likes you and wants to help. It's very easy to sustain anger and aggression when faced with someone who seems angry with you.

A lot of what I do when I first meet a learner is about allaying their fears. Fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of humiliation. Teachers in alternative education spend a lot of time chatting with their learners in a relaxed atmosphere. It all seems very cosy at times and that very little is happening. Of course what is going on is building trust between the learners and the staff. If we cannot build that trust then we are going to find life very challenging indeed. The more challenging the behaviour, the calmer and kinder you have to be.

The message we want to convey is this:

Things have gone badly wrong for you. We are not here to apportion blame or to make judgements. If we ask about your past, it is because we want to understand how to make things better for you. We want you to feel safe, happy and successful. Work with us.