Phoning Home.
Phoning home is an expectation that many schools have of teachers, and if I had a quid for every time a line manager had asked me to make a "quick" call, I'd be rolling in it. Phone calls can be many things, but they are seldom quick! Parents and carers are (with very few exceptions) lovely, caring people who want what's best for their child and I am glad to give them my time - I just wish I had more of it to give!
The "behaviour for learning" call.
Probably the most common type of call I make is the one where the child's behaviours are affecting his progress. What is really important here is that I am not phoning to complain about the child. Complaining is for when Parcels2U fails to deliver my vital monthly supply of Gin. I am making this call for two reasons - firstly, I have a duty of care to ensure that parents know what is going on with their child. Secondly, I want information: what's going on in this child's life that might explain his choices; for younger learners, what was primary school like and how did they address any issues; and what are you seeing at home? I want to find the child's triggers and overcome them so he can be successful.
It's great when parents are able to shed light on what I am seeing and offer their support - often that is enough. Not so great is when you get a parent who insists that the problem is "only in your class" or that their child has told them you are "picking on them". I can understand that a parent want to believe their child's version of events, but I am a paid professional with their child's best interests at heart: I don't tell lies, and I don't bully children: I DO seek solutions to help a child overcome their barriers to learning.
The "ongoing problem" call.
This one can be tricky - I have already made contact about this issue and it is still an issue. Parents get tired of hearing that their offspring is not getting it right - they can feel beleaguered and powerless. Some even stop answering the phone completely if they see the school's number. It helps to know how many colleagues have phoned home about the same issue, but that's not always possible so I need to be aware that I might be the call that broke the camel's back.
Sometimes this call is made really difficult when it become clear that a style of parenting is exacerbating the problem. I can't tell someone how to parent their child, but sometimes I really want to. I'd like to say, if you take your child on holiday in term time, please don't blame me when he doesn't value his education or bunks off when he feels like it. If you take his word over mine and refuse to support my sanctions, please don't expect me to have any authority with him in my classroom. If you appease and pacify your child, please don't expect me to do the same - there will be ructions *deep sigh*
The "is everything ok?" call.
Molesworth has not been himself recently. I have had a chat with him and he has said nothing is wrong, but I am not convinced. I want to be sure. One of two things happened here. Usually, there really is nothing much up; his parents thank me for my time and trouble and Molesworth returns to his usual form enjoying life at St Custards and teasing the skool dog.
Just sometimes though, something is up and I might be the first member of staff to hear that there's a problem. Over a long career this type of phone call has brought news of self harm, pregnancy, imminent homelessness, bullying at school, domestic violence, marital difficulties and drug taking. It's why I always have a pen and paper handy when I talk to a parent so I can jot down anything I need to pass on and why I am grateful to always have a clear procedure for doing so.
The "well done" call.
Most of the time, we don't phone home unless something is wrong. That's a shame, because the praise phone call is such a nice experience for all concerned - especially when the parent is not used to getting them. Many a time, I have heard the tone in a parental voice shift from "O God, what now?" through "This woman's got the wrong number" to "Wow - thank you". It's a call that goes a long way to building relationships with learners - knowing that their efforts have not gone unnoticed.
One of my new school year resolutions was to make more phone calls home - especially praise calls. It can be hard to find the time, but it's really worth it.
The "behaviour for learning" call.
Probably the most common type of call I make is the one where the child's behaviours are affecting his progress. What is really important here is that I am not phoning to complain about the child. Complaining is for when Parcels2U fails to deliver my vital monthly supply of Gin. I am making this call for two reasons - firstly, I have a duty of care to ensure that parents know what is going on with their child. Secondly, I want information: what's going on in this child's life that might explain his choices; for younger learners, what was primary school like and how did they address any issues; and what are you seeing at home? I want to find the child's triggers and overcome them so he can be successful.
It's great when parents are able to shed light on what I am seeing and offer their support - often that is enough. Not so great is when you get a parent who insists that the problem is "only in your class" or that their child has told them you are "picking on them". I can understand that a parent want to believe their child's version of events, but I am a paid professional with their child's best interests at heart: I don't tell lies, and I don't bully children: I DO seek solutions to help a child overcome their barriers to learning.
The "ongoing problem" call.
This one can be tricky - I have already made contact about this issue and it is still an issue. Parents get tired of hearing that their offspring is not getting it right - they can feel beleaguered and powerless. Some even stop answering the phone completely if they see the school's number. It helps to know how many colleagues have phoned home about the same issue, but that's not always possible so I need to be aware that I might be the call that broke the camel's back.
Sometimes this call is made really difficult when it become clear that a style of parenting is exacerbating the problem. I can't tell someone how to parent their child, but sometimes I really want to. I'd like to say, if you take your child on holiday in term time, please don't blame me when he doesn't value his education or bunks off when he feels like it. If you take his word over mine and refuse to support my sanctions, please don't expect me to have any authority with him in my classroom. If you appease and pacify your child, please don't expect me to do the same - there will be ructions *deep sigh*
The "is everything ok?" call.
Molesworth has not been himself recently. I have had a chat with him and he has said nothing is wrong, but I am not convinced. I want to be sure. One of two things happened here. Usually, there really is nothing much up; his parents thank me for my time and trouble and Molesworth returns to his usual form enjoying life at St Custards and teasing the skool dog.
Just sometimes though, something is up and I might be the first member of staff to hear that there's a problem. Over a long career this type of phone call has brought news of self harm, pregnancy, imminent homelessness, bullying at school, domestic violence, marital difficulties and drug taking. It's why I always have a pen and paper handy when I talk to a parent so I can jot down anything I need to pass on and why I am grateful to always have a clear procedure for doing so.
The "well done" call.
Most of the time, we don't phone home unless something is wrong. That's a shame, because the praise phone call is such a nice experience for all concerned - especially when the parent is not used to getting them. Many a time, I have heard the tone in a parental voice shift from "O God, what now?" through "This woman's got the wrong number" to "Wow - thank you". It's a call that goes a long way to building relationships with learners - knowing that their efforts have not gone unnoticed.
One of my new school year resolutions was to make more phone calls home - especially praise calls. It can be hard to find the time, but it's really worth it.
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